Domestic Violence

USCCB Resources   Full Text of When I Call for Help: A Pastoral Response to Domestic Violence When I Call for Help Powerpoint (For use in presentations--text of which appears on this page.) When I Call for Help Resource Cards: (see above) These cards, in English and Spanish, list signs of an abusive relationship and include the number of the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Ideal for parish pamphlet racks and as a resource to raise a congregation's awareness about domestic abuse. Resources for priests, deacons, and pastoral staffs Suggestions for preaching about family violence Addressing domestic violence in the sacrament of reconciliation Batterers and the sacrament of reconciliation What do you say? Additional Resources National Domestic Violence Hotline. . .   (1-800-799-SAFE) Overcoming Obstacles: Domestic Violence on the For Your Marriage website Survey of Diocesan Responses to domestic violence (July 2008)

Download USCCB When I Call for Help: A Pastoral Response to Domestic Violence (PDF)

An Overview

Domestic Violence is any kind of behavior that a person uses to control an intimate partner through fear and intimidation. It includes physical, sexual, psychological, verbal and economic abuse.  Examples include battering, name calling and insults, threats to kill or harm one’s partner or children, marital rape, or forced abortion

Why Men Batter

• Men who abuse generally share some common characteristics. They tend to be jealous, possessive and easily angered.
• View  women as inferior
• Alcohol and Drugs

Why Women Stay

Fear: for themselves, for their children, fear that they cannot support themselves.

Religion: Resource or Roadblock?

A correct reading of Scripture leads to an understanding of the equal dignity of men and women and to relationships based on mutuality and love.  
 

• Husbands should love their wives as they love their own body, as Christ loves the Church.
• Forgiveness does not mean forgetting the abuse or pretending it did not happen.  Forgiveness is not permission to repeat the abuse.
• An abused women’s suffering is not  punishment from God. This image of a harsh, cruel God runs contrary to the biblical image of a kind, merciful, loving God.
• No person is expected to stay in an abusive marriage.  We encourage abused persons who have divorced to investigate the possibility of seeking an annulment

Intervention by Church ministers has three goals:

• Safety for the victim and children
• Accountability for the abuser
• Restoration of the relationship ( if possible) or mourning over loss

First Responders: Priests, Deacons, Lay Ministers

• Listen to and believe the victim’s story
• Help assess the danger to oneself and children
• Refer to counseling and other specialized services

It is important to note that when dealing with people who abuse, church ministers need to hold them accountable for their behavior.  Couple counseling is not appropriate, and can endanger the victim’s safety.

What Abused Women Can Do for Help

• You are not alone, and help is available for you.
• Talk in confidence to someone you trust.
• Set up a plan of action to ensure your safety.
• Find out about resources in your area, such as your diocesan Catholic Charities office or family life office.
• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE, provides crisis intervention and references to local services.

What Men Who Abuse Can do for Help

• Admit that abuse is your problem, and begin to believe that you can change your behavior if you choose to do so.
• Be willing to reach out for help.
• The Church is available to help you.
• Find alternative ways to act when you become frustrated or angry.